Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Friends, the opportunity of a lifetime is upon me. A dear friend of mine has been doing missionary work in Africa for the last year and a half and will continue to be there for at least that much longer. Over the winter months, her father has decided to go visit her and has invited me to come with him. The purpose of the trip, however? Hike Mount Kilimanjaro and raft the Nile River.What???
I seriously have the opportunity to HIKE Mount Kilimanjaro. In high school, every year, they had you fill out "information sheets" should you be selected Student of the Day (which I was, all three years, baby!). On this sheet, you had to list three of your life goals. Mine were:
1) Go to KU (which I didn't do because I decided I wanted to be a NAME, not a number)
2) Become a lawyer (no longer a desire. Wahoo for work experience saving me THOUSANDS of dollars on law school)
3) See an African sunset before I die.
I kid you not. Africa is not exactly a tangible thing for me. It has always been this unattainable goal, short of going over to work in missions, which I do not feel called to do at this point in my life. I would be CRAZY not to take this opportunity when I would be going with someone I trust to take care of both me AND all the arrangements.
But, yes. There is a catch. There are a few catches.
1) I would have to quit my job. I don't have that much vacation time stored up nor am I given that much vacation time a year. I have been thinking about moving on for a while now anyway and was actually prepared to do so when things with my Grandma looked like I might be needed with her. And things at work lately have been somewhat encouraging me to want to look elsewhere. So this may not be a bad thing, per se.
2) It would take essentially all of my savings. And maybe then some. AND, the job I would resume when returning would no doubt pay less than the one I have now. I want this to be a wise decision.
3) I would be making a major climb, fulfilling a dream... without my dad. I have never hiked worthwhile mountains without him. All of the mountains in the background of that picture, I have stood on top of... with him. Some of my favorite memories are of him pushing me past my internal boundaries to fight for the summit, then sitting on top of the conquered mountain saying to us, "Girls, a man who doesn't love this life is crazy." It would feel wrong to do it without him. But at this point in his life, he thinks I'm crazy for even wanting to do it to begin with.
So, there you go. Am I crazy for even giving it a second thought? I do not want to be irresponsible with my money or my career. However, I also want to LIVE. I want to see an African sunset before I die. I want to spend the night under a blanket of stars, miles above the ocean. I want to do what I can when I can. And right now seems like the perfect opportunity, sans the aforementioned "catches".
Thoughts? ... Advice? ... Wisdom? ... Anyone???
posted by BJ at 1:40 PM
9 Comments:
I'm not going to tell you what to do...because honestly, part of this process you're going through is you seeking your own answers and making your own choices. I deeply respect your desire to seek counsel on this matter but you know the answer comes from you and you know where the answer inside of you comes from...
nonetheless let me speak from experience as I understand one of the major holdbacks for you is money and some of the things we see as the only reality right now, and that it affects the rest of our life. First off, we're 25, not 65 - figure out what that means and hopefully you're off on the right foot. Here's my experience: moving to boston has been detrimental for any chance of starting a financial future. Right now I'm 25, so close to retiring...it's so stressful when I look at my life because here's what I see. All these friends, experiences that have totally changed my heart, my brain, my soul, the way I view reality, the way I look at God, my past, every bit of me has changed...I lean now on things I never knew existed, I embrace paradox and the future and the present from a totally new perspective, I interact daily with people that remove me from every comfort zone I knew I had. I'm being pushed to limits and finding out that not only am I okay - I'm better than okay. I'm having all these incredible experiences that are molding my life before my eyes...my twenties are being spent in a way where I can look back and actually say "I did that." I have stories to share with loved ones someday down the road - I have adventures that actually shape my character, which I formerly tried to accomplish through reading books. I have all this to look forward to - the memories, experience, character, and hope that moth and rust cannot ever take away...but when I look back on all these experiences and life changing people who have meant so much to me - I know I'll think only one thing, I'll think, "I wish I would have devoted more time to money, a job, work, and the all mighty golden dollar!" Cause that's where my soul and heart should have been during the formative years of my life....then my kids could have profited not from the man and the relationship I give them, but from my money....no doubt that's what I'll think. After all, as you look at your hero (dad) it's the money he earned so young in life and playing it safe that makes you love him so much....not the amazing man shaped and chiseled by life's experiences.
That's my experience - you make your choice - you know what I'd do...and you know what I'd want you to do. Stop being the person who looks at others and says "wow," be the person thats life is so rich, it's rightly recorded in only one book throughout eternity
1) you're only young once. make life worth living.
2) you want to see an african sunset before you die....but you're pretty far off from death.
i fully believe that you should enjoy life and not focus on money. however, we need to be responsible with our money too. now is the best time to put money into your roth ira or buy a house -- you'll have the largest gains from investments you make now.
i think the biggest question should be -- how far back would this trip set you back? will it do irrepairable damage to your finances?
but also -- will you ever be able to quit your job and go to africa again? this might be the only time in your life where you'll only be quitting your job - not your career.
i say, enjoy life. take that advice from a boring cpa that works 70+ hrs a week for a nice salary, but doesn't have the free time to spend it.
I hope to have an actual conversation with you soon, and about this - but for now here are a few thoughts from an EXTREMEMLY tired girl (but my advice is good, nonetheless):
My philosophy on travel, especially once-in-a-lifetime trips, is just do it. You will not regret going on a trip like that. Well, OK, maybe if you use up seriously every penny you have and end up homeless or soemthing, you might. (But you could be a hobo!) But seriously, even if you are poor for a while, I can almost guarantee that you will not look back and think "Man, I wish I hadn't gone on that life-altering trip to Africa, then I could buy this dress." If it is at all feasible for you to go, go. You are young, not tied down, not really liking your job anyways... and I agree with all the character-building, etc, etc, that Tyler said, too. I have never regretted a trip I've taken out of the country, no matter the financial/time sacrifice. I LOVE that I've been able to have those experiences. I was blessed growing up to have a very pro-travel family, and seeing other cultures has made my life richer.
Anyways. I am rambling. I'm going to bed. :-)
i think there is a lot of good advise about seizing the day . . . etc . . . etc. you really don't know what the future holds and if you can do it now . . . do it.
however, just to shine a bit of light on the other side . . .
if you find this is not a wise time to go, don't fret too much about it . . .
africa will always be there. and if you want it badly enough, you will find a way to make it happen. jobs give leave. children can board planes. people take breaks.
as for not climbing wiht your dad . . . i beg you not to ever let that hold you back from doing something you are passionate about! particularly because he is no longer climbing mts like this anymore . . . you would be acing yourself out of a lot of amazing adventures.
Firstly : ) you have got to meet my friend Tina who would absolutely speak to your heart, mind, life. Secondly, you've got to meet my friend Tina. Thirdly, basically, there's no option for you. I love you. I love Tina. You must meet.
Africa runs in this girl's blood and so does adventure, life, seizing the moment. You gotta get some Tina in ya. She just joined the blogging world too.....
http://foreverkenya.wordpress.com/
Seriously girl. It's on your top three list of Sharla's plan for your life list.
: )
Hello, my name is Tina and I am a complete and utter stranger to you other than the fact that I too love Jesus Christ and am a friend of a friend, Sharla, who shared your dilemma with me. Africa is a huge passion of mine so when Shar told me of her friend who was weighing the options of going to East Africa, I just had to check out your post. So forgive me for butting in- I realize I don’t know you and you don’t know me… but I do know Africa… very well. And I also have experience with taking major geographic leaps in life and then looking back and seeing how God challenged, directed and drew me closer to Him. I am a 25 year old American who has only lived approximately 7 years in America. I grew up in Rwanda, Central Africa where my parents and grandparents were missionaries. In ’95 my family moved to Kenya and that is where I consider home. The irony of all this is that I’m writing to you now completely jet-lagged because I just got back from spending the past two months in Kenya. I love to travel and I love any adventure that requires passion, daring, and a little bit of insanity. And from the sounds of it, I think that’s what Africa could be for you. Let me just close with this: I have rafted the Nile…I have climbed Kili…and I have seen thousands of African sunsets. No words can describe and no pictures can capture those experiences. If anyone has list of life goals that does not include those things, they are missing out. But be prepared, if you do go to Africa, it will change your life. If you ever want someone to talk to… about Africa, God or just life… I would love to! Forever_kenya@yahoo.com
Where there is the will, there is the way.
Bj, "...I miss the rain down in Africa..." is that how it goes? Anyway, what are you doing now that will be different in three months? Would you like to change that? Can't your dad swing a few weeks to meet you at the base of Kilimangaro to start the assent?
You will always have a roof over your head and friends here.
I have a problem beej....I don't know who half of these people are, AND their comments are way too indepth. I say go!
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